wouldn't it be nice

you know what would be nice? it would be nice to ride the train alongside my seven-year-old daughter from the chaos of union station to the fumes of lawrence station without hearing the "s" word a half-dozen times. or the "f" word a half-dozen times. or even the "a" word a half-dozen times. 'cause i'm pretty sure my kid has already overheard those choice designations at least a half-dozen times before. and she doesn't exactly need any reinforcements, thank you very much. for i've heretofore put in a considerable amount of time and energy preaching the evils of the expletive. the villainy of the vulgar. the perils of the profane. why, i've even been known to nod approvingly at the familiar caveat warning of impending "coarse language" heard at the outset of select prime-time programming. yeah, you know the one... just before the admonishment that "viewer discretion is advised." and so my eldest hardly requires a refresher coarse [sic] on the cursing and cussing that seems to dominate the modern vernacular of this generation's ill-timed and illiterate. for what it's worth.

probably a little before your time

same as it ever was

"guess what? you won't believe this! are you ready for this? we made it to internationals! (pause) yeah, that's right. internationals! in florida! we finished top five. top five in our category. we're going in april. or maybe it's may. i dunno. sometime in april or may. can you believe it? we actually made it. (pause) i guess. (pause) i guess. i guess we'll just take some time off school then. why? is that gonna be a problem? (pause) how much? i dunno. about a thousand, i think. maybe a little more. why? (pause) is it? i dunno. i just figured that you and dad would pay for it. cuz we made it to internationals. i mean, cuz this is, like, a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, right? i mean, you and dad will pay for it, won't you? (pause) i mean, i just figured that it wouldn't be a problem. i dunno. (pause) i mean, maybe i can get a job this summer then. you know, to help pay for some of the trip. (pause) i dunno. i can find a job somewhere. (pause) no, in the summer. umm... why are you being like this anyway? i thought you would be happy for me. (pause) i know that. i know that. it's just that i thought you would be happy for me, that's all. (pause) look, can we talk about this when i get home? i'm running out of minutes. can we talk about this when i get home, please? (pause) i know, mom. i know. (pause) i love you too, mom. i gotta go, ok. i'm running out of minutes. (pause) ok, mom. i love you too. goodbye."

wmg giveth, wmg taketh away