uh, ladies...

when the elevator doors finally opened i was all set to climb out and make my way to the foyer. except that someone was standing in my way. blocking my way, to be more precise. steady. stationary. and in no hurry to step aside so that i could make my getaway. not exactly an imposing figure, mind you. at five feet nothing and maybe 100 pounds after a big meal, my fellow condo dweller was hardly a candidate for cfl lineman of the week. and his rather advanced chronology presented me with yet another dilemma. how might i inform this octogenarian obstacle that his presence in the doorway was keeping me from my appointed rounds?

after all, if there was one thing i had learned over my five plus years living alongside the aged and infirm it was this: they tend not to follow instructions all that well.

perhaps it's their failing hearing. or perhaps it's their general reluctance to take orders from anyone their junior -- which, when you're pushing 90, just happens to describe almost every living soul on the planet other than yourself.

take the underground parking garage, for instance. um, you're blocking the driveway, sir. um, do you mind moving your '87 skylark to the side, sir? um, sir? excuse me, sir? oh, forget it.

or take the communal swimming pool out back. um, you really shouldn't be doing your waterobics in the shallow end, ladies. um, and you're making it kinda difficult on us to do our laps, ladies. um, ladies? excuse me, ladies? oh, forget it.

which brings me back to my mexican standoff from earlier today and my ever-so-intransigent neighbour. and you know, i came about this close to asking the kindly old gent to scoot on over. but then i thought about it. and then i thought about it some more. and when all was said and done, i decided that it just wasn't worth it. and not just from a cost-benefit point of view. no, in the end i figured that it just wasn't worth the headache. 'cause i had been down that road before. and i knew exactly where that road was headed. and so, in keeping with the holiday tradition that it is better to give than to receive, i simply rotated my frame a few degrees before i squeezed on by.