it happened without warning. without even a hint of foreshadowing really. and as far as i can tell, an event entirely lacking in precedent within the annals of modern medical phenomena. spontaneous human combustion has nothing on this little nugget. so where are the editors of the new england journal of medicine when you really need them? got your attention yet? piqued your curiosity by now? alright then... try this one on for size: when i awoke this morning, i discovered that the cuticle at the base of my left thumbnail had somehow managed to retreat all by itself overnight. yes, that's correct: retreat. as in retract. as in recede. like the tide at sunrise. or sunset. or whenever. bad analogy. um... like the hairline of an aging rock star hidden beneath a crimson bandana. anyhow, the point is that i was taken aback. way aback. and so where does a slightly befuddled middle-aged gent turn when left scratching his head as to the biological wonderment that is his own retreating cuticles? why the internet, of course. or more specifically, to the pages and pages of highly dubious quasi-medical sites that currently clutter the world wide web. and yet, after spending the better part of a soon-to-be spring morning testing the local bandwidth, i am no further along then i was when i first entered my present state of digital disorientation. for there was nary a mention of my present predicament. apparently spontaneous cuticle retraction is treated with an almost blithe disregard amongst the online hypochondriacal community. go figure.
"they look like little moons"
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment