it's absurd really

from the overseas telephone spammer who nearly convinced me that i had an operating system defect which only he could cure to the veteran library lady who stubbornly refuses to speak in hushed tones to the elderly coffee shop patrons who perch themselves in their pre-assigned seats from dawn to dusk to the even more elderly morning mallwalker crew decked out in their oversized velvet tracksuits who can still outsaunter most folks half their age to the dutiful sandwich shop servers who insist on greeting each and every g-ddamn customer with an almost painfully cheery "good afternoon, welcome to subway" to my three-year-old daughter who has somehow managed to tie the 8 a.m. ritual of brushing her teeth to the promise of candy treats to follow to the 35 grams of sugar that my already overhyped eight-year-old consumes each and every time she downs a juice box and granola bar following a soccer match to the three standup comics who between them must have dropped the f-bomb a good dozen times a minute over the course of saturday night's two-hour cussfest to all the audible gumchewers who invariably park themselves behind me in the supermarket queue while a trainee cashier attempts to break the world record for the most register overrides in a single shift to all the senseless and irrelevant trifles that folks like me spend the better part of our lives pissing and moaning about.

it's absurd really.