gulliver must travel

on sunday afternoon i was sprawled out in my youngest's brand new cot, alone, browsing the trials and tribulations splashed across the pages of hogtown's finest daily. now maybe it was the antihistamine i had just ingested, or maybe it was the laziness of the hour, but before long i was set adrift in la-la land, my mind resting peacefully as the seconds turned to minutes and the minutes turned to even more minutes. bap. bang. boom. suddenly i was jolted to by the sound of patio chairs crashing against the cement wall of our walkout balcony. the wind must have picked up while i was down for the count. my upper half now upright, i peered out the sliding doors for signs of upturned furniture. confident that all was accounted for, i groggily laid my noggin atop my daughter's unlicensed snow white mini-pillow with visions of sugar plums dancing in my head. ouch. once again i was startled to the point of rousing, but this time by the sting of uniqua's purple antenna poking me square in the eye. unimpressed by my little one's ubiquitous roster of backyardigan action figures, i rotated my frame 180 degrees... only to be met by the unfortunate sight of pablo's propeller-capped beanie. was there no respite from this nightmare of nickelodeon proportions? to the left lay tasha's flowery sundress. to the right austin's impish grin. and where, pray tell, was tyrone in this messy menagerie of beanie baby excess? perhaps the playful moose was not unlike myself, cowering in fear beneath the covers, for fear of stirring the lifelike dora and diego facsimiles resting peacefully at the foot of the bed.

it's all relative

lady one: are those your new hunter's? because they are absolutely to die for!

lady two: aren't they? and do you know what? they weren't even my first choice. but i just had to have a pair before i walked out of the store. so when the saleslady told me they were out of my size in my colour, i figured that i would just have to settle.

lady one: well, "settle" is certainly not the word i would use to describe those amazing boots. they are absolutely delicious.

lady two: they do look good on me, don't they?

lady one: absolutely delicious. speaking of which, have you broken the fast yet?

lady two: as a matter of fact, we have. last night alan and i and the kids dropped by richtree on the way home from my parents.

lady one: at the promenade?

lady two: no, silly. at bayview and york mills, of course. just around the corner from our new place.

lady one: oh, that's right. you moved a few months back, didn't you? so how's that working out for you?

lady two: well, not bad for the most part. i mean, we really did need the extra space. and crescent isn't too far away now.

lady one: oh, so the boys are still at crescent then? do they like it there? i mean, now that they're getting older and all?

lady two: you mean, because of the boys-only environment?

lady one: they aren't longing for the girls just yet?

lady two: well, i suppose they might as they get a little bit older. but they do have white pine in the summer. july and august, anyway. two months up north with the opposite sex is probably enough for them at this age.

lady one: yeah, you're probably right. so, do you have a chance to get up to mayfair anymore.

lady two: you mean, to swim?

lady one: or just to play a few rounds.

lady two: well, i did drop by the spa a few weeks back. after all, i do need something to help me relax.

if you listen really carefully, you can hear mr. sumner in the distance

overexposed

i saw a picture of myself the other day. a picture from a long time ago. i must have been about seven or eight years old. i was on the beach. in florida. with my family.

but the thing is... i have no memory of ever being on the beach. in florida. with my family.

my mom was in the picture. and my brother. and even my dad. but only briefly.

and it reminded me of my own family today. in a way. and how pictures never really tell the entire story. but only glimpses. into the past.

and just then, i was reminded of something my best friend passed on to me recently. about my own family. and about how important it is to build memories today. so that my kids can have something to look back on. tomorrow.

and i must admit that i looked kinda happy in that picture. like i was enjoying myself. like i was enjoying my time with my family. on the beach. in florida.

tv or not tv... that is the question

alright, so my television has been on the fritz going on almost 72 hours now. and i must admit that at first i was kinda enamoured by the unexpected turn of events. i mean hey, i figured that at the very least, i would have a little more time to read now. a little more time to think. more time to breathe. more time to... oh, who the hell am i kidding, man? look, i gotta have my fix, man. i gotta have my storage wars, man. and my weather channel updates. and my tmz weekend recaps. and my dancing with the stars results episodes.

yes, i know. i know. i am weak. i am mortal. i am human.