gulliver must travel

on sunday afternoon i was sprawled out in my youngest's brand new cot, alone, browsing the trials and tribulations splashed across the pages of hogtown's finest daily. now maybe it was the antihistamine i had just ingested, or maybe it was the laziness of the hour, but before long i was set adrift in la-la land, my mind resting peacefully as the seconds turned to minutes and the minutes turned to even more minutes. bap. bang. boom. suddenly i was jolted to by the sound of patio chairs crashing against the cement wall of our walkout balcony. the wind must have picked up while i was down for the count. my upper half now upright, i peered out the sliding doors for signs of upturned furniture. confident that all was accounted for, i groggily laid my noggin atop my daughter's unlicensed snow white mini-pillow with visions of sugar plums dancing in my head. ouch. once again i was startled to the point of rousing, but this time by the sting of uniqua's purple antenna poking me square in the eye. unimpressed by my little one's ubiquitous roster of backyardigan action figures, i rotated my frame 180 degrees... only to be met by the unfortunate sight of pablo's propeller-capped beanie. was there no respite from this nightmare of nickelodeon proportions? to the left lay tasha's flowery sundress. to the right austin's impish grin. and where, pray tell, was tyrone in this messy menagerie of beanie baby excess? perhaps the playful moose was not unlike myself, cowering in fear beneath the covers, for fear of stirring the lifelike dora and diego facsimiles resting peacefully at the foot of the bed.