its got a good beat and you can dance to it

so there i was, loafing amongst a roomful of senior students the other day after school, when suddenly i found myself under attack from an onslaught of highly unpleasant sounds. odd sounds. unfamiliar sounds. i think they call it... music. yes, that's it. music. modern music.

mostly it was dance music. or dance versions of popular music. whatever. in any case, it was hardly music to these ears. more like an aural assault on the senses. quick, call the cops. have that band arrested.

what i don't get, what i will never understand, is how anyone can possibly call what my ears were exposed to the other day, music. that isn't music. music is rhythmic and melodic and harmonic. music is sweet and soothing and symphonic. music evokes memories of time and place and context within our collective consciousness. memories of people that mattered. of moments that made a difference. music can fill us with hope when our spirits are flagging. music speaks to our doubts and despair. to our dreams and desires. music lulls us to sleep at night. music rouses us from slumber the following morn. music is there by our side in good times and bad.

and i'm sorry, but by those standards, the music of b.o.b. and those of his ilk just don't cut it.

now that's more like it