put your hands up

security to zone four. security to zone four. and with those eight simple words, i was officially a suspect. at winners, no less. within a few seconds, the not-so-subtly disguised undercover security guard at my local off-price fashion retailer was eyeballing me like a kitty eyeballs a toy mouse. and what was my crime, you may ask? well, i suppose i was guilty of being simultaneously shifty and dishevelled as i perused the designer leather belts stationed in... um, stationed in zone four, i reckon. shifty because i had just woken up and had yet to find my bearings. dishevelled because i had yet to shower that day (or the previous day, i might add) due to the march break school holidays. but was i offended? after all, i am an upstanding member of the community and hardly a suspect for gta's most wanted. to be honest though, i was almost a little... well, flattered. the fact that i warranted even a modicum of surveillance suggested that i at least had the potential to present myself as someone who flirts with the wrong side of the law. it reminded me of that time i was strolling down yonge street near st clair when suddenly, out of nowhere, a cruiser pulled up and out jumped two coppers who told me to freeze, take my hands out of my pocket and drop my knapsack (in that order). apparently, as they would later explain, i very much resembled a suspect in a nearby bank holdup. me? i resembled a bank robber? there are bank robbers out there who fit the description of tall, gangly and awkward? and wear stripey shirts from the gap? or that time at the simon bolivar airport in caracas when three (three!) heavily-armed customs officers asked me to step out of the lineup before conducting an illegal search of my person. i guess i should have shaven that day.

"what if this is as good as it gets?" - as good as it gets (1997)

she said that she hailed from edinburgh and that was enough for me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EK08XU4VaLQ