the apple doesn't fall far

father: so? how was camp today?

daughter: good.

father: and? what did you do today?

daughter: uh... we had fun.

father: you had fun, huh? ok, but what did you do today?

daughter: uh... we had free time.

father: ok, and what did you do in your free time?

daughter: uh... we played.

father: you played, huh? ok, so what did you play then?

daughter: we played games, dad.

father: games? like what? like basketball? did you play basketball today?

daughter: yes, dad. we played basketball.

father: ok. and did you play soccer today?

daughter: yes, dad. we played soccer today, as well.

father: ok. and did you play tennis today?

daughter: no, dad. how could we play tennis, dad? do you see any tennis courts at the camp, dad? i mean, seriously, how could we play tennis if we don't...

father: alright, that's enough. don't be rude to me.

daughter: i wasn't being rude. i was just answering your question. you asked me if we played tennis today and...

father: alright, i said. that's enough already. so tell me, when i asked you what you did at camp today, why didn't you just tell me that you played basketball and soccer?

daughter: i did. i did tell you, dad. and then you started screaming at me because...

father: alright, that's enough. i get the point. so is there anything else you want to tell me about camp today.

daughter: uh... no.

(silent pause)

daughter: um... can we go get some lunch? i'm starving.

father: lunch? it's 4 o'clock. why would we be eating lunch at this hour? besides, didn't you already have lunch today? at camp?

daughter: no.

father: what do you mean, no? didn't your mother pack you a lunch today?

daughter: uh... yes.

father: and didn't you eat the food that she packed you?

daughter: uh... yes.

father: so... i guess you had lunch then.

daughter: yeah, but it wasn't really a lunch, dad.

father: what do you mean, it wasn't really a lunch? did you have a sandwich?

daughter: uh... yes.

father: so... what was wrong with the sandwich?

daughter: well... it wasn't really a sandwich, dad. it was only two tiny halves.

father: what do you mean, two tiny halves? two tiny halves? two tiny halves? that's a sandwich! a sandwich is made up of two tiny halves! two halves equal one whole sandwich! did you eat both halves?

daughter: uh... yes.

father: well then, you ate a sandwich! you ate an entire sandwich! if you ate both halves of the sandwich, then you ate the entire sandwich. so what's the problem then?

daughter: well, i, uh... i didn't have any dessert today, dad.

father: did your mother pack a dessert for you today?

daughter: um... i don't think so.

father: well, does she normally pack a dessert for you?

daughter: uh... sometimes.

father: ok, let's see then. you had a sandwich today, right? we've already established that.

daughter: sandwich. check.

father: don't be smart with me, kid.

daughter: yes, i had a sandwich today. go on then.

father: don't be rude to me. listen kid, don't you forget that i brought you into this world...

daughter: yeah, yeah, yeah. and you can take me out. i know. i know. very clever, dad.

father: you're being rude again. alright, so now we know that you had a sandwich today. tell me... was there anything else inside your lunch box today?

daughter: i don't have a lunch box. it's a bag.

father: (taking deep breath) was there anything else inside your lunch bag today?

daughter: yes. would you like to know what?

father: yes. yes, i would.

daughter: well, there was a juice box. which i had for lunch. and a bear paw. and a banana.

father: bear paw? what the hell is a bear paw?

(silent pause)

daughter: uh, you said "hell," dad. you're not supposed to say "hell."

father: (taking deep breath) ok. you're right. you're right. let me rephrase that. bear paw? what the heck is a bear paw?

daughter: that's better. now a bear paw... a bear paw is a soft cookie.

father: a soft cookie? uh... so why is it called a bear paw then?

daughter: it's called a bear paw, father, because it's shaped like a bear paw.

father: don't be smart. (pause) ok, so you had a banana and a bear paw in your lunch bag today. isn't that dessert then? the banana and the bear paw?

daughter: no.

father: no? why not? you had a banana and a bear paw. that's dessert. the banana and the bear paw were dessert.

daughter: no. the banana and the bear paw were snacks. we have snack time, too, you know.

father: snack time? you have snack time at camp? how many? how many snack times do you have at camp every day?

daughter: two. one in the morning and one in the afternoon.

father: two? you have two snack times a day? alright, then. let's see. what did you have for your first snack of the day?

daughter: the bear paw.

father: ok, and what did you have for your second snack of the day?

daughter: nothing.

father: nothing? what do you mean, nothing?

daughter: nothing. i didn't have anything for my second snack.

father: no? why not?

daughter: because i didn't feel like eating.

father: ok, then. so that means you still had a banana sitting in your bag at lunch time. well, i guess that solves our dilemma then.

daughter: dilemma? what's a dilemma?

father: problem. i guess that solves our problem then. a dilemma is a problem. i guess that solves our problem then.

daughter: how? how does that solve our problem?

father: because. because you could have just had your banana at lunch. after your sandwich. as dessert.

daughter: but i was saving that banana for my afternoon snack. after lunch.

father: but you just told me that you didn't have the banana for your afternoon snack. so you could have just eaten that banana for dessert. at lunch time.

daughter: but how was i supposed to know at lunch time that i wasn't going to eat that banana for my afternoon snack? jeez, dad.

"you don't really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around - and why his parents will always wave back." - william d. tammeus

slowly but surely i am indoctrinating my daughter into the church of genesis. and you have to admit that phil is certainly in fine voice in this 1980 performance:

p.s. sorry, lc. i published your comment before i took a look at the link. uh... can't exactly publish videos like that. hope you understand, kid.