good afternoon sunshine

i was always taught that the purpose of an afternoon nap was to refresh and revitalize oneself in the middle of an otherwise stressful and exhausting day. typically when one awakes from a midday snooze, one is replenished with sufficient clarity and vitality to confront whatever challenges await that individual throughout the remainder of the day.

but i think i may have found an exception to that rule. you see, my two-year-old daughter isn't exactly a model of warmth and congeniality when she awakes from her daily noon-hour catnap. in fact, now that i have spent the past two weeks at home with my kids, i can honestly say that i am a little bit frightened of my youngest when it comes time to greet her following her halftime beauty sleep. i mean, it's not just that the kid is a tad irritable come wakey-wakey time. or unreasonable. or unrelenting. the problem, quite frankly, is that at times my second-born seems a little... well, she seems a little possessed. yes, that's right... possessed. hell, it's gotten so bad that sometimes i just sit by her bed and wait for her head to start spinning. why, i reckon even the most pleasant and accommodating parent would have trouble breaking through the little monkey's impenetrable shell of stubbornness for at least a few minutes following her return to consciousness. are you still having trouble with this picture? the official transcript should help set the record straight:

doting dad: hi honey. time to get up.

indignant daughter: no!

doting dad: did you have a nice nap?

indignant daughter: no!

doting dad: do you feel better now?

indignant daughter: no!

doting dad: do you want to eat something?

indignant daughter: no!

doting dad: how about something to drink?

indignant daughter: no!

doting dad: do you wanna watch waybuloo?

indignant daughter: no!

doting dad: do you wanna listen to selena gomez?

indignant daughter: no!

doting dad: how about "naturally"? you don't wanna listen to "naturally"?

indignant daughter: no!

doting dad: ♪ everything comes naturally ♪ ...

indignant daughter: no!

doting dad: ♪ it comes naturally ♪ ...

indignant daughter: no! no!

doting dad: ♪ when you're with me ♪ ...

indignant daughter: no! no! no!

doting dad: baby?

indignant daughter: nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!

doting dad: alright. alright. calm down. just calm down. um... would you rather see mommy now?

indignant daughter: no!

doting dad: how about your sister?

indignant daughter: no!

doting dad: is there anything i can do that will make you feel better?

indignant daughter: no!

doting dad: anything?

indignant daughter: no!

(pause)

doting dad: nothing?

indignant daughter: no!

(pause)

doting dad: uh... do you mind if i change your diaper at least?

indignant daughter: no!

doting dad: you don't mind?

indignant daughter: no!

doting dad: you do mind?

indignant daughter: no!

(pause)

doting dad: uh, just so we're clear then. you don't want me to change your diaper right now, correct?

"some people dream of success while others wake up and work hard at it." - author unknown

"good day sunshine" would have been more appropriate, but i absolutely hate that tune: