shhh!

so i reckon there is only one thing wrong with movie theatres today: the patrons.

to wit: they kick the back of my chair. they save seats for friends that never show up. they chew their popcorn like cows. they slurp their sodas like spaghetti. they take their seats in front of me thirty seconds before the movie begins and their oversized heads get in my way. they talk on their cells. they hog the armrests. they hang their big, bulky jackets over the backs of their chairs so that their hoods make contact with my knee. they bring their loud, whiny kids to the cinema even though the little angels have no intention of sitting through the entire show due to their short attention spans and even shorter bladders. they nod off right after the opening titles and force me to listen to their quiet purring for the rest of the flick. they get up in the middle of the picture and step on my size 11 dogs as they squeeze by me on the way to the aisle. they talk to the characters on screen as if they were one of the actors in the film. they make out in the dark and produce hideous sounds that resemble sucking and gasping. they cough on me. they sneeze on me. they crack their knuckles. they bite their nails. they mess up on the trivia questions that run before the sneak previews even though the answers have already appeared on screen. they laugh at the wrong time. they cry at the wrong time. when they do laugh, they don't giggle or titter, they cackle. when they do cry, they don't sob or weep, they blubber. they yawn. they sigh. they moan. they sneak homemade sandwiches into the theatre wrapped in noisy tin foil. they spill their drinks on the floor behind me and don't even have the decency to warn me before the sticky runoff reaches my toes. oh, and they always choose to sit next to me even though there are 300 empty seats in the house.

other than that, i really enjoyed my afternoon at the movies today.

"people are funny." - author unknown

no, this is random, although now that i think about it...