slip slidin' away

the marble-shaped cap on my new bottle of garnier fructis 2 in 1 fortifying shampoo and conditioner may have a few design flaws. first and foremost among them is the fact that the cap doesn't necessarily work very well when damp. which can be a problem when you are attempting to access your new bottle of 2 in 1 fortifying shampoo and conditioner inside the shower. which, of course, is where most hygiene-conscious folks, like myself, attempt to pry open their new bottle of 2 in 1 fortifying shampoo and conditioner. the problem, you see, is that the shape of the cap makes it damn near impossible to flip open the little device when moistened by pipe water. and try as i might i just can't seem to get a decent enough grip on the rounded cap so as to allow me to pop open the hood. why, things have become so desperate in shampooland that recently i have taken to bringing a plastic knife into the shower stall with me in order to wedge open the bewildering bottle cap. at other times i have been known to slam my new bottle of 2 in 1 fortifying shampoo and conditioner against the recessed soap dish on the side of the shower wall. that aside, perhaps my first clue that something may not have been right in the garnier canada r & d department should have come from the trademarked fructis label. the label that boasts of "active fruit concentrate" including a significant component of fructose and glucose. fructose and glucose? in my new 2 in 1 fortifying shampoo and conditioner? wth? just throw a little sucrose into the mix and suddenly you're looking at a diabetic's worst nightmare. in a lime green bottle.

not the official video, but it should be