stupid is as stupid does

when i placed my fingers inside the tiny, clear plastic bag holding the deca 2010-11 commemorative pin, i instinctively knew that i was committing a grievous error of judgment. but i just couldn't resist the temptation of clutching the complimentary keepsake emanating from the marketing and entrepreneurship competition bearing the same name. ouch. lesson learned. again. and as the spot of crimson fluid began to appear atop my left index finger, i threw back my head and looked to the heavens with a plaintive sigh: why must i always do that, lord? why am i unable to learn from my own mistakes? why can i not absorb the lessons of my past trangressions and proceed toward the next level of awaiting enlightenment?

the same thing happens to me almost every single time i head out for a walk in november. before i depart, i glance outside and say to myself: "self, surely it can't be too cold out there. after all, i certainly don't see any precipitation on the ground. i certainly don't see anyone's breath hanging in the air. i'm sure a light jacket will suffice therefore." but within minutes of my sojourn taking flight, i inevitably find myself cursing the insipid television weatherman who not ten minutes earlier had warned me of the crispness in the fall air and the need for appropriate seasonal attire. damn meteorologists.

or last month when i attended the 5k cibc run (walk) for the cure... in my leather sandals, as it would turn out. and this despite the fact that i left behind a perfectly good pair of new balance cross-trainers at home. once again i recognized almost immediately that i had underestimated the firmness of my hometown's streets and the resistance they could assert against my flimsy ankles. and just as an exasperated napoleon dynamite uttered to himself so many times over the course of that archetypal teen angst showcase, "idiot" was the only phrase that truly captured the sheer essence of the self-directed resentment and irritation i was experiencing at that moment - and the moments that unfolded over the subsequent two hours with each painful, passing step toward the finish line. take that.

"uh, i know you don't want to hear this now, but uh, it serves you right. idiot." - anonymous