tell me what i want to hear

as i sat there at michel's baguette in yorkdale the other day, i couldn't help but notice how a tall, striking blonde woman in three-inch heels seemed to catch the attention of just about every male within ogling distance of her. it reminded me of a tennis match where the spectators' heads ping-pong back and forth in time with the passing ball. and then i began to wonder what it must be like to be, excuse the phrase, beautiful. beautiful in the purely objective sense of the word, of course, as we all know that beauty is indeed in the eye of the beholder. and then i began to wonder what it must be like to be, how shall i put this, not-so-beautiful. not-so-beautiful in the purely objective sense of the word, of course, as we all know that once again, beauty is indeed in the eye of the beholder.

because i'm certain that the objectively beautiful women and men of the world must surely be aware by now that men, being men, and women, being women, are prone to glance in their general direction when they walk on by.

and because i'm equally certain that the objectively not-so-beautiful women and men of the world must occasionally notice that men, being men, and women, being women, are prone to glance in the general direction of objectively beautiful women and men when they walk on by. which means that those same men and women are not as inclined to glance in the general direction of those not-so-beautiful women and men when they walk on by. (harsh, yes. but unfortunately, true. and hey, don't shoot the messenger. human nature isn't always fair or kind or compassionate.)

and then i recalled a conversation i had many moons ago, in college if i'm not mistaken, a conversation involving both an objectively beautiful woman and an objectively not-so-beautiful woman. the discussion centred on the issue of whether women (and men) would prefer to be told that they were beautiful or that they were brilliant. beautiful or brilliant... that is the question.

and i recall that the objectively beautiful woman made the point that, in her opinion, an objectively beautiful woman/man would likely prefer to be told that she/he is brilliant given that she/he is likely of the opinion that she/he is beautiful and would gain nothing from such a compliment. and at the same time, an objectively not-so-beautiful woman/man would prefer to be told that she/he is beautiful given that she/he is likely of the opinion that she/he is not so beautiful and would appreciate a few kind words in that general direction.

and i also recall that the objectively not-so-beautiful woman made the point that, in her opinion, the preference as to being told that one is beautiful or brilliant largely depends on the source of the comment. now if memory serves, i think the point she was trying to make was this: one generally prefers to be told that one is beautiful by strangers while one generally prefers to be told that one is brilliant by someone we are familiar with. the reason for this discrepancy? a stranger is incapable of providing insightful commentary on one's intelligence. but a stranger can always provide a snap assessment of one's physical appearance. meanwhile, a friend or family member is probably qualified to speak to one's intelligence and so, their assessment carries considerable weight. at the same time, whether or not a friend or family member finds us attractive is largely irrelevant to us given that a relationship has already been established based on factors, one would hope, other than physical appearance.

i hope that made sense. if not, i'm dumping this post.

and please, no comments about my supposed shallowness. for if you truly believe that beauty is irrelevant in this world, you are simply not being honest with yourself. this is a post about beauty and intelligence, and so i have discussed beauty and intelligence in this post. if you would like to hear my opinions on dollar store batteries or chinese buffets or other important topics of that variety, you can always do so by locating those entries elsewhere on this blog.

"beauty fades. brains last forever." - judge judy

this and "we didn't start the fire" should be mandatory viewing in american history courses:



p.s. someone standing over my shoulder just made the point that most persons would prefer to hear both comments, namely, that they are beautiful and brilliant. point well taken.

waiver of liability: please be advised that the opinions of rs and his father expressed below do not necessarily reflect those of the owners of this blog site.