a dog's life

today in my condo, a man and his pooch stepped onto the elevator and shared a ride with me down to the lobby. the jack russell terrier was admittedly one cute little canine, but that still didn't justify what was to follow over the next few seconds. i was doing my best to avoid eye contact with the pup's owner due to a previous altercation (long story) when suddenly i felt a cold, wet sponge-like object begin to caress my right ankle. i looked down and to no one's surprise, i watched as the adorable terrier attempted to convert my right leg into his own personal lollipop. now maybe he was attracted to my choice of deodorant soap (zest) or maybe he was looking to satisfy his sodium quota for the day (although i thought that was a "cat thing") or maybe he was simply reaping the benefits of the cortisone cream i had just applied to my shins to hide the effects of my eczema. who knows? but whatever this mutt's reasons, he was slowly turning my lower limbs into one helluva gooey mess.

"um, he's a good dog. he wont bite you," the owner sheepishly declared.

"it's not his bite that i'm worried about. it's his germs," i curtly replied.

"haven't you heard that a dog's mouth is cleaner than a human's?" the leash holder cleverly put forth.

"yes, i have. but i don't want his mouth on my ankles any more than i want yours."

game. set. match.

"properly trained, a man can be a dog's best friend." - corey ford

takes me back to a time and a place: