oy, my back

so here's my story.

i am getting old. and when i say old, i mean "officially" old. i'll tell you how i know that i'm getting old, officially old. yesterday, at the doctor's office, i was told by a family practitioner that i had developed a condition known as stasis dermatitis. essentially that means that the veins in my lower legs are not operating as they should and as a result, complications are beginning to appear.

now i knew that something might be wrong with me a few years ago when i first noticed dark purple blotches appearing around my ankles. at the time, i spoke to a few incompetent quacks who assured me that nothing was wrong with me other than perhaps the early onset of what they termed "relatively harmless" varicose veins.

but yesterday, i spoke with a youngish-looking female physician who had just graduated from the medical school at u of t (or ut as some of the students there are now calling it, i'm told). within seconds of taking a look at my ankle, the distaff version of doogie howser was on her laptop googling the name of my condition with a knowing look on her face. she showed me some images of persons suffering from my affliction and i had to agree that it sure looked like she had hit the nail on the head with her snap diagnosis.

then she began asking me a few questions. "have you experienced any swelling in the affected area?" yup. "does the swelling increase throughout the day?" yup. "does the affected area feel sore to the touch?" yup. "does the affected area feel dry and itchy?" yup. "have you experienced any hair loss in the affected area?" yup. (i told her about the sudden swath of missing hair that magically appeared on my right shin about a year or so back.) "do you suffer from eczema?" yup. "is there a family history of circulatory problems?" yup.

anyhow, i think you're beginning to get the picture.

thereafter, ms. labcoat went on to mention some of the treatments available to persons suffering from my present ailment - chief among them the use of something known as compression stockings, or elastic support socks as they are more commonly referred to. (perhaps you've seen your aging uncle or elderly grandmother sporting these atrocious garments alongside their sandals or slippers.) essentially, they are extremely tight, knee-high socks designed to redistribute blood flow within the lower legs.

and that's why i feel a little bit older today. because when i visited my local shoppers drug mart to inquire about said stockings, i was told that the selection is much greater at the nearby shoppers home health care outlet. you know, that outlet that is so popular amongst the senior set in your neighbourhood (especially on seniors' day - last thursday of every month) because of its huge selection of assisted-living devices. in fact, when i asked the nice young lady at the home health care shop to show me the selection of support socks, her first response was a quizzical, "are they for you, sir?"

ugh.

"nobody grows old merely by living a number of years. we grow old by deserting our ideals. years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul." - samuel ullman

not quite sure why, but this song always makes me feel better: