(editor's note: the following cannot technically be deemed a "top ten list" as there are only nine items presented for your consideration)
9. old ladies reaching for something off the top shelf at loblaws see me as an easy mark
8. i haven't stood in the front row of a group photo since i was six
7. disappointment is sure to follow when i'm inevitably chosen first in pick-up basketball game at local schoolyard (what with height and hoops acumen not always being synonymous)
6. lightning typically looks for the quickest route to the earth... which, in a field of clovers, is me
5. rental cars ordinarily come in five classes or sizes: economy, compact, intermediate, full size and that really expensive one that i can fit into
4. small children often have trouble distinguishing between tall, furry, big-headed ex-lawyers and your run-of-the-mill ogre
3. nesting robins frequently mistake my balding head for their treebound home base
2. leggy supermodel types in need of towering escorts to accompany them to glitzy functions see me as an easy mark
1. dancing in crowded discotheque may lead to unintentional decapitation of fellow party goers during patented arm-swinging manoeuvre
"stop singing! you're embarrassing me! on purpose! you're trying to humiliate me! deliberately! people can hear you on the street! you're not even a good singer!" - seven in the back seat, with me at the wheel and the radio at full blast (07/14/10)
exhibit "a" in the defamation lawsuit of -------- v. --------
p.s. hey, the kid made me listen to the bieb. now as for the sing-along... i admit there is no excuse for my behaviour. mea culpa.
GRRR, it's the bieber! You just lost a loyal follower for life!
ReplyDeleteI LOVE THAT SONG. I'M ADDICTED TO THAT SONG... even though I don't really like Justin Bieber at all. Good taste in music sir :)
ReplyDeletePs. If I EVER said what your daughter said to my parents, all I would get is a big smack across the face for being so disrespectful and rude and then a full blown hour long lecture. I salute my parents for making me such a disciplined, happy teenager (with a hint of rebellion!) :D
^ that comment above is hilar.
ReplyDelete(i bet you're going to ask me now why i keep shortening my words. i'm trying to develop short hand. and that's just because 1) i'm lazy 2) i like to write like that and 3) you still understand what i mean)
anyway, i didn't take much notice to your post.
but i did with the quote at the end.
that's funny.
my brother does that all the time when i'm driving around with 98.1 on volume 20. so niceeeee.
mea culpa to you too!
ReplyDeleteheyyy, you listen to 98.1 too!!! LOL, at least i know that someone else has good taste.
ReplyDeleteseven used the word humiliate? i'm impressed
ReplyDeletewhy dont you write about the nine good things about being tall
ReplyDeletejustin bieber!!
ReplyDelete