so tell me. when does it happen? when does a kid in this society begin to feel insecure about standing out in a crowd? because this morning, as i drove my eldest to her last day of summer camp, i honestly believed that seven-year-olds were incapable of such feelings. but apparently i was wrong.
it was theme day at the city-run camp. pirate day to be precise. the kids were instructed to dress up as their favourite seafaring swashbuckler. now given our limited wardrobe budget at home, we could only fit seven in the traditional waist sash and red bandana. no breeches or wide belts or tri-cornered hats for my kid. let's just say that she wasn't exactly a spitting image of jack sparrow. but still, she looked the part... for the most part.
anyhow, when we arrived at the community centre housing seven's camp this morning, it was obvious that most of the other campers hadn't received the memo regarding pirate day. in fact, by my count, there was only one other kid sporting even a hint of buccaneer in her chosen garb.
but it was actually seven's reaction that left me more than a little bit surprised. for upon spotting the relative scarcity of sea robber apparel in the gymnasium this morning, my daughter immediately tore off her bandana and sash and stuffed them into her hannah montana backpack.
and when i asked my daughter what she was doing, she angrily replied, "i told you that no one would dress up today." why does it matter what other people are wearing today? i calmly shot back. "because," she rejoined, "i don't want to be the only person who's wearing a costume today." but you're seven, was the only wisdom i could summon at that moment. and besides, i added while pointing, that girl over there is wearing a bandana. i think.
so that's that. apparently, at seven years of age, young boys and girls in this society develop a sense of conformity. a sense of wanting to fit in. a sense of wanting to be accepted by one's peers. and apparently, that sense of belonging necessitates the avoidance of any indication that one is even remotely different from anyone else. at seven.
"to be one's self, and unafraid whether right or wrong, is more admirable than the easy cowardice of surrender to conformity.” - irving wallace
prom night with wings:
p.s. good point, rs. well said.
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Ahh I used to be like that too. You'll have to watch out for when Seven goes to High School though; she'll be brain washed, pulled in a 100 different ways :(.. I made it out alive though! I try to be as un-conformist as possible now. Just cuz I'm rebellious like that :).
ReplyDelete-M.
I think it's the opposite. Rather than wanting to be accepted, I think she just doesn't want to be embarrassed.
ReplyDeleteI don't know about you, but if I was dressed up as a pirate in the middle of a large group of people who weren't dressed as pirates, I'd be pretty embarrassed.
You can't just keep saying, "but you're seven".
ReplyDeleteFor God's sake, she's her own person, just like you are your own person. She's growing up, give her more credit than that.
umm... you sure you want to continue to talk about your daughters in this blog? think about it. when they grow up and start reading this blog, if they ever stumble upon it, don't you think that reading about themselves when they were 7 and 2 will make them even more embarrassed?
ReplyDeletedon't we all wear a mask to hide our inner self and adapt a more social acceptable cover?
ReplyDeleteActually, I think it is great that you talked about your daughters. When they grow up thay are going to read this and they'll have a kick out of this. Sir your love for them is beautiful and expressing your concern is really touching. Just a small favor don't compare them with your life. as you have express before you did not have a normal life, your girls have you - sir - and mom - your care and love is what make them what they are.
ReplyDeleteyes, i agree. i think it's perfectly fine for you to talk about your daughters in your blog. for one, it's a release for you, and for two, if they do look back on these one day, they should see how caring and loving their dad is.
ReplyDeletepersonally, i was always 'considered' that person with no fashion sense. Up until grade 6 i still didn't care about what i threw on every morning. then again, i think that relates to my family income. the friends i had never said anything either, i only started to care when puberty came to be.
all in all, society is changing. each and every generation is so different it's difficult to understand.