so i ran into an old friend outside the kosher burger joint near bathurst and lawrence today. he was taking a stroll with his uncle at the time. but when i extended my hand in a show of greeting, my pal's uncle responded with a rather curt, "oh, i'm sorry. i don't shake hands."
excuse me? what did you say? did you just say that you don't shake hands? what do you mean, you don't shake hands? of course you shake hands. everybody shakes hands. it's part of our culture. you meet someone, you shake his hand. that's just the way it's done. nobody asks why. nobody asks how. so shake my g-ddamn hand already and let's be done with this silliness.
i mean, can you imagine what would happen to the state of modern society if everyone began to question the cultural norms that we all grew up with?
students, for example. "oh, i'm sorry sir. i don't write algebra tests on tuesdays or thursdays."
or children. "oh, i'm sorry father. i don't do chores on degrassi night."
or speeding motorists. "oh, i'm sorry your honour. i don't accept the jurisdiction of traffic courts."
or baristas. "oh, i'm sorry young man. i don't serve espresso brownies to obnoxious teenagers."
or panhandlers. "oh, i'm sorry ma'am. i don't accept coins anymore. only fives and tens if you don't mind."
after all, it's called a norm for a reason.
"originality implies being bold enough to go beyond accepted norms.” - anthony storr
believe it or not, this was considered groundbreaking technology back in '86:
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or programmers. "oh im sorry. but i don't use for loops."
ReplyDeleteor the future generation. "oh im sorry. of course justin bieber isn't setting the standard for good music."
T.D.
Hi sir, I just wanna tell you I saw your wife and your two-years-old today. At the corner of yonge/eglinton.
ReplyDeleteBoth of them are really beautiful. Where was 7-years-old today???
By the way this is very funny post.
See you soon...;o)
Heh, T.D., nobody would understand that programmer one unless they were a programmer :P
ReplyDelete(but what if for loops don't exist in that particular programming language?)
Although I usually follow the saying, if you're in Rome, do as the romans do, evidently that uncle doesn't. Either he has a phobia or lived in the East, where the norm is to bow, not shake hands.
I'd place my bet on the phobia.
who wants to be like everyone else? it's a personal preference.
ReplyDeleteof course, everyone has their preference.
what if the guy's a germ freak?
or he looked you once over and decided, hm... i don't want to shake his hand because... he's... blank blank......... which excuse should i give him?
ps. i see that you included the professor quote.
was this the one?
the best one you've ever written?
because i don't think so.
- not T.D.