why do i always have to think of a clever title to these posts?

so i'm standing in line at the science centre today waiting to buy my tickets when suddenly a middle-aged redheaded woman with three redheaded children starts yapping behind me about how unfair it is that families with children have to wait in the same lineup as those without children. and naturally she's speaking at a decibel level that falls somewhere between that of a lawnmower and a jet engine. and the more she goes on and on about the supposed inequity of the lineup policy at the science centre, the more i want to crawl under one of those giant paleozoic-era rocks on display and plug my ears for the next 300 million years or so. and naturally her voice is so shrill and ear-splitting that it feels like a sledgehammer raining down blows on my brain. but of course i have nowhere to escape to as i have pretty much committed myself to that particular spot in the lineup, a lineup that is now snaking itself around the front wall of the entrance corridor. and all the while i find myself asking the question, "why, oh why, couldn't i find myself standing in line next to a nice dysfunctional family who had just been fighting in the car ride over here and were now giving one another the silent treatment?" and then, without warning, the aforementioned middle-aged redheaded lady begins to cough both violently and repeatedly, but naturally she has never heard about that fairly common practice of covering one's mouth when one is coughing both violently and repeatedly. and then, all of a sudden, in the midst of all this internal debate and soul-searching, the light above cashier #6 begins to flash and so i step up to the counter and purchase my tickets to the science centre.

"in lowell, indiana, there was a four-hour hostage standoff in a bank. the bank customers were made to line up and stand still for hours... just like in a regular visit.” - bill maher

a promise is a promise, senorita: