top ten signs it's too cold for after-school softball at bickford park:
10. wayward softball used by local children as undersized head in construction of impromptu snowman
9. shortstop's spittle curiously turns to ice before hitting the ground
8. lone homeless spectator decides to call it a day at 3:45
7. chattering teeth of middle-aged head coach suddenly begin breaking apart without warning
6. normally weather-conscious outfielding trio seen praying for rain in "lesser of two evils" scenario
5. trendy infielders forced to choose between cooper pro series full grain leather baseball mitt from sportchek or tna lamb's wool knit mittens from aritzia
4. practice momentarily interrupted as puzzled team members observe disoriented canada geese migrating southward overhead
3. pitchers offered gatorade-sweetened hot cocoa between innings
2. right fielder temporarily frozen in her cleats due to prolonged inactivity
1. even the softballs are shivering
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HAHAHA, you might want to add "a windmill spinning uncontrollably as a short chinese boy walks along by"
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