confessions of a circus freak

i possess exactly five unique and slightly peculiar talents. one, i can balance, release and then recapture 59 coins from my elbow. two, i can twirl a metre stick between my fingers for hours on end. three, i can snare a baseball tossed at my head at very high speeds. four, i can crack the toe knuckles on my right foot over and over and over again without allowing for the build-up of lactic acid. and five, i can set my internal alarm clock at bedtime on any given night and then wake the next morning within minutes of my predetermined rise-and-shine time. no batteries required. no snooze button. no loud ticking.

indeed, ever since i was a wee little lad, i could remind myself at day's end that i had to be up the following morning at a specific time and voila, when daybreak hit i was always amazed to learn that my internal urgings had somehow come to fruition. for example, last night i implored the gods of early rising to rouse me from my slumber at exactly 6:15 this morning so that i could make my way into work before the rush of morning rush hour. lo and behold, before the sun could peek its head over the horizon earlier today, i had risen to attention and sprung out of bed at precisely 6:15 a.m. on the button. uncanny but not unusual. need a nap? no problemo. i just tell myself prior to lights out at what hour i have to be up-and-at-'em and when the time comes, i inevitably shoot to life like a madman shot out of a cannon. truth, it would appear, is stranger than fiction.

"fatigue is the best pillow." - benjamin franklin

the voice of our (your) generation: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0YH-s4jmCU

p.s. while two is a notoriously light sleeper, often waking at the sound of heavy sighs emanating from an adjoining room, seven has been known to snooze through the occasional nuclear holocaust