not that this blog should ever be mistaken for the weather network, but for the record, it's may 8th and it's snowing out there. that said, i just returned from an evening at the pickle barrel with my best bud. i had the meatloaf and mashed potatoes. the last time i ordered this item, i bit into a small piece of glass. i was rewarded with a free meal at the time. tonight i was only fortunate enough to bite into a small piece of egg shell. my reward this time: i learned from my waiter that meat loaf is typically prepared with an egg and bread crumbs so as to bind the ground beef. apparently the egg and bread crumbs combine to form a paste. but as for the free meal... no such luck, although i did ask for one in my politest of polite voices. after dinner my pal and i stopped by the shoppers down the street in order to pick up a few items. while i was meandering up and down the shampoo aisle, i stumbled across the rogaine. you know... rogaine. the first pharmaceutical product medically proven to treat hereditary hair loss. in case you haven't noticed, i'm starting to thin out a little bit upstairs. both on top and in front. not a good place to be for a narcissist like me. anyhow, i picked up the rogaine and began to read the instructions on the side of the box. then i happened upon the possible side effects. chest pain or rapid heartbeat? faintness or dizziness? sudden, unexplained weight gain of five pounds or more? swollen hands or feet? unusual lesions? wait a minute. unusual lesions? aren't all lesions unusual? hey, rogaine goes on your head, doesn't it? or maybe it doesn't, 'cause later on in the instructions, the following was written: "rogaine should be applied only to the scalp. the risk of side effects may be greater if it is applied to other parts of the body." other parts of the body? why would anyone apply rogaine to other parts of the body? you think fellows looking for more chest hair are rubbing rogaine into their pecs? you think fellows looking for more facial stubble are rubbing rogaine into their cheeks? come to think of it, maybe this is a world i don't want any part of.
"hey sir, why don't you just wear a hat?" - insolent grade 10 student
the lotion and the powder have made a paste: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wRLJXhlOf1M
Saturday, May 8, 2010
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I laughed out loud.
ReplyDeleteI should really go find this hair product you speak of..
I have super thin hair, and one strand is WHITE.
Story of my life.
The weather was crazy. It was soo cold yesterday. first i had to canoe against the cold rain, then i had to do a portage against the SNOW, then i had to walk around in wet clothes trying to find fire wood and then i had to sleep in a tent on top of a tree root.
ReplyDeleteDespite the weather, camping was actually really fun. But now i'm sick :(