doctor heal thyself

doctor: good afternoon. how are you today?

patient: i'm fine doc. how are you?

doctor: i'm fine, thank you. so what seems to be the trouble today? it says here that you were referred to me by dr. v. is that correct?

patient: uh, yes it is. i have two questions for you doc.

doctor: ok, let's take them in order then. first question?

patient: uh, ok. about six months ago, i woke up one morning and noticed a large patch of hair was missing from my leg... right here, near the ankle.

doctor: let me take a look at that.

(pause)

doctor: hmmm. that's odd. do you wear socks?

patient: well, in the winter i do. doesn't everybody?

doctor: probably. does it hurt there?

patient: no.

doctor: does it itch?

patient: no.

doctor: does it burn occasionally?

patient: no.

doctor: so... what's the problem then?

patient: a large chunk of hair fell out of my leg, doc! that's not normal, is it?

doctor: well, no. it isn't.

patient: so, can you tell me why it happened then?

doctor: well, no. i can't. i mean, there could be any number of reasons for sudden hair loss.

patient: such as?

doctor: well... it could be due to stress. or poor circulation. or an allergy. or an injury. or tight socks.

patient: so... which one is it?

doctor: well, i don't know. you said it happened six months ago. that's a long time ago.

patient: but can't you tell me why you think it may have happened?

doctor: i just did. it could be stress or poor circulation or...

patient: ok. ok. i get it.

doctor: next question then?

patient: alright, about two years ago, i noticed a slight discolouration in the same area of my leg. see... right here. near the ankle. all these brown spots right here.

doctor: hmmm. that's interesting.

patient: so, what do you think it could be?

doctor: hmmm. i don't know exactly.

patient: well, don't you have any ideas? i mean, like uh, liver spots or age spots or varicose veins?

doctor: well, varicose veins are usually purple and they tend to protrude quite a bit. age spots and liver spots are essentially the same thing.

patient: so could they be age spots?

doctor: maybe.

patient: maybe?

doctor: maybe.

patient: well, isn't there a test or something to confirm whether they're age spots?

doctor: uh, no. not really. do they hurt?

patient: no.

doctor: do they itch?

patient: no.

doctor: do they burn occasionally?

patient: no.

doctor: hmmm.

patient: so, uh, how do you know then whether or not they're age spots?

doctor: well, we can usually tell just by looking at them.

patient: so then? are they age spots?

doctor: i can't tell.

patient: well, could it be something else then?

doctor: maybe.

patient: could they be related to the missing chunk of hair?

doctor: oh, i don't think so. but, uh, maybe.

(pause)

patient: ok, while i got you here doc, i may as well ask. now perhaps i'm goin' out on a limb here, but i was just wondering: could all of this - the hair loss, the spots - could all of this be a sign of skin cancer?

doctor: oh, i don't think so. i mean, uh, maybe. but i don't think so.

patient: maybe?

doctor: maybe. but i don't think so. anything else then?

patient: maybe?