the parallel universe of the octogenarian... or words to that effect

living in a condominium with a preponderance of elderly persons, one's judgment can become a tad skewed at times. it's as if the senior citizens who make up my building's mailing list exist in an alternate universe ruled entirely by their own set of unique principles. for instance, gauging the actual temperature on any given day can be quite the challenge for me when the average octogenarian willingly slips on a fur parka and snow pants before heading out into 25 degree temperatures. and old people have no sense of personal space. they routinely ignore the internationally-accepted standard of a 12-inch radius in terms of one's psychological comfort zone. and when they do get right up into my grill, old folks like to invade my personal comfort region even further via the exercise of inappropriate touching. as an example, there is an elderly woman living in the complex who is physically incapable of having a conversation with me without rubbing my arm up and down every fifteen seconds or so. (cough) and old people are never in a hurry so they tend to move about rather slowly, making it difficult for me to feel like i'm an active participant in the dog-eat-dog, chew-'em-up-and-spit-'em-out society i'm so fond of. in fact, sometimes i'm forced to spend a good ninety seconds inching my way through the first-floor hallway trailing behind one of my dawdling neighbours that i just shared an elevator ride with because i don't have the nerve to elbow her to one side so that i can make a break for the lobby doors. and oldtimers simply love to talk about themselves. every conversation, regardless of the subject matter, must necessarily come back to a discussion of their highly successful adult children or last winter's sojourn to miami beach or their latest triumph at the bingo table. and older people don't complain about the same things that you and i complain about. they complain about things like the mailman and whatever is making him six minutes late that day. and they complain about... wait a minute. what was the point of this entry in the first place?



never mind.

completely off topic, but when has that ever stopped me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FabM1RJTkrY