take two aspirin and call me in the morning

my head is killing me. no, really. my head is absolutely killing me. you see, i've been suffering through a particularly nasty headache going on eight hours now. and i've already tried everything within my arsenal of tricks to relieve the mind-numbing pain but alas... to no avail. i've taken a nap. nothing. i've had something to eat. nothing. i've downed a coke, figuring that a lack of sugar and caffeine may just be the source of my cranial discomfort. nothing. i've even sat through a forty-minute, steaming hot shower, with the shower head set to pulsate, but still... nothing. normally, i would have begun to experience at least some sense of relief after administering the preceding set of remedies. yet tonight's soreness seems rather unique in that it has so far managed to elude conventional therapies. jeez, i really hope this pain i speak of is nothing more than a standard, garden-variety, run-of-the-mill headache. i would hate to think that it could be anything more than that. uh-oh. my mind is starting to wander a little. my imagination is beginning to play tricks on me. my collective consciousness is slowly getting the better of my rational self. flashback. flashback. ok, so when i was eight, i noticed a huge lump on my forehead. so i pointed it out to my mother and she was, like, "uh-oh. that doesn't look good." and i was, like, what do you mean, that doesn't look good? and more to the point, what do you mean, uh-oh? and so we made a beeline for the hospital where my mother demanded that the e.r. doctors provide me with an x-ray. and after much cajoling on my mother's part, the e.r. doctors finally relented and put me under the x-ray machine. and when the results were in, the doctors pulled my mother aside and delivered the bad news: "ma'am, that lump on your son's forehead... that lump... is his skull." ok, so i managed to dodge a bullet that day, but still...

you never know: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=stRWtrmXkHo

"waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite. or waiting around for friday night or waiting perhaps for their uncle jake or a pot to boil or a better break or a string of pearls or a pair of pants or a wig with curls or another chance. everyone is just waiting." - dr. seuss