it's raining apples and oranges

so i'm driving home this afternoon along leafy spadina road and the wind is blowing in off the lake at about a thousand knots and the streets are littered with severed branches and garbage bags and the flotsam and jetsam of everyday suburbia. and then, out of nowhere, the skies opened up and down came the... the granny smith apples. yeah, you heard me correctly (assuming you're reading out loud now). granny smith apples. i guess i had just driven under a mature fruit-bearing tree sporting the ripened, sugary snacks. and i suppose the hurricane-strength gusts at play earlier today must have loosened several of the tasty yet tart treats. 'cause before i could say apple pie, tiny green shells were crashing to the earth just inches to the left and right of my speeding silver comet. and not unlike the iconic laser cannon in the classic arcade game space invaders, i was forced to evade wave after wave of alien, er apple, attackers. luckily, in the end i managed to avoid any significant damage to my vehicle (i think one fleshy fruit may have made contact with my hood). but at least i had learned a valuable lesson. for i had learned that sometimes the enemy above comes wrapped in a shiny green skin.

bayview village cinemas on a saturday afternoon