sweat it out

uh, it was kinda warm out there today. and i couldn't help but notice that the circulation inside room 120 can be a tad sluggish at times. ok, so i sweat a little bit on the job today. ok, so i sweat more than a little bit today. but the good news is that even if my latest diet doesn't work out, i can always look forward to wednesday, thursday and friday classes in order to shed a few more pounds before the weekend arrives. at one point this afternoon, the sweat was actually rolling off my nose and plopping onto the handouts i was distributing in class. at that moment i felt just like a puppy marking its territory with bodily fluids. (this is my classroom! stay away from my classroom!) later at softball practice, one of the girls observed how my arm appeared to be perspiring. i tried to explain that i had merely been wiping my brow with my forearm, but the damage had already been done. i was tarred for life as a sideshow freak. then during infield practice, my eyes began to burn from the salt of the sweat dripping from my forehead. i was even forced to halt proceedings for a few moments so that i could sponge the droplets from my eyelids with the aid of my old navy striped polo. and to add insult to injury, when i finally arrived home later in the day, my kid informed me that i was glistening. i was actually glistening. like a shiny new coin. and how the hell did a seven-year-old learn a word like "glistening" in the first place?

p.s. smile, kid. you're upsetting the natural balance of the universe.