didn't see a thing

early this morning i had to dash across the road in order to pick up a few items from metro before work. as i was making my way through the ground floor lobby of my building, i unintentionally startled the twenty something concierge working the graveyard shift behind the counter. it appears that the after hours inactivity of the position may have gotten the better of our crack overnight watchman as he had been sound asleep at his post, sprawled out in his big, comfy chair. but when i tiptoed by the front desk in a futile attempt to avoid waking our trusty sentry from his sunrise snooze, lookout boy suddenly came to, then proceeded to hem and haw as the blood began to rush to his face. "uh, i was just resting my eyes," he pleaded. not a big deal, i replied. "i wasn't asleep or anything, just so you know." no, really. i completely understand. he was obviously embarrassed (as was i) and perhaps even a tad fearful that his job might somehow be in jeopardy if news of his late night slumber ever found its way to the condominium's almighty board of directors.

more importantly, this morning's episode got me thinking about all of those other potentially awkward situations that we stumble into over the course of our daily lives but ultimately seek to avoid so as not to cause unnecessary embarrassment to our fellow citizens.

hey, the middle-aged man sitting across from me on the yonge 97 has been picking his nose for the past half-an-hour or so as if there's a treasure chest hidden up there. uh oh. eye contact. smile. uh, didn't see a thing, sir.

hey, the old lady standing next to me in the upset stomach aisle for the past minute or so has just decided to pass a little gas my way. uh oh. eye contact. smile. uh, didn't hear a thing, ma'am.

hey, the grade nine couple with their lockers just down the hallway from my office have been joined at the lip for the past thirty seconds or so... and their technique is rather deplorable, i might add. uh oh. eye contact. smile. uh, didn't see a thing, kids.

hey, the colleague at work who's been locked in the staff washroom for the better part of an hour or so has been singing a mostly unfortunate version of "don't stop believin'." wait, the door is opening. he's coming out now. uh oh. eye contact. smile. uh, didn't hear a thing, comrade.

also not my preferred take on the journey classic, but interesting nonetheless. and call me crazy, but i'm thinking they're all the same guy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xIoSTbPt_PI

"have you ever gotten the feeling that you aren't completely embarrassed yet, but you can already glimpse tomorrow's embarrassment?" - jerry maguire (1996)