if i had a million dollars

tonight's lotto max jackpot is expected to reach an estimated $50 million. that is one of the largest prizes ever awarded in the history of canadian lotteries. the frenzy surrounding tonight's draw reminds me of a conversation that would take place every time a sizeable lottery prize was up for grabs when i was younger and living with my mother after my parents split up.

starting from the time i was seventeen, my mom and i used to play a game. the game would consist of my mother telling me what she would do with her prize money in the unlikely event that she won the lottery.

she would usually begin by mentioning all of her family members that would receive a portion of the payout. "my brother --- would get a million, my sister --- would get a million, my sister ------- would get a million, my sister ----- would get a million, your brother --- would get a million, and i would give you five million," she would inevitably decide. to explain, i was always my mother's favourite and she rarely made any attempt to hide that truth. she would rationalize her flagrant favouritism by referring to the fact that my older brother was clearly the preferred child of my father, as my old man similarly made little or no effort to conceal that particular detail. (for the record, such schisms often made for a tense household, but i digress.)

next, my mother would rhyme off all of the material goods she would purchase with her remaining hypothetical lottery winnings. "i would buy a new car and a new television and a new dining room table and a new house so that you and i could have more space." i should mention that when i first moved in with my mother following the breakup of her marriage, she and i were living in a small, crappy, two-bedroom apartment near bathurst and steeles. my mother hated that place and always vowed that one day, she would earn enough to afford a huge, palatial estate north of the city. (years later, my mother would become one of the leading real estate agents in the city and while she never ultimately purchased that "palatial estate" she had been dreaming of, she did earn enough to put her youngest child through law school.)

finally, my mother would rattle off a checklist of local charities that would receive a portion of her lottery windfall in case she ever took home the big prize. given her experiences up to that point in her life, most of the organizations on that roll call were either nearby hospitals or research foundations.

anyhow, i am reminded of these mostly fond memories from my past as today, i caught myself musing over what i would do if i won the $50 million jackpot currently on the table.

by the way, i have never actually purchased a lottery ticket. ever.

in a perfect world, she would have been bigger than madonna: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=202o_JS7E04

"you can only become truly accomplished at something you love. don't make money your goal. instead pursue the things you love doing, and then do them so well that people can't take their eyes off you." - maya angelou