she was the man

my seven-year-old forced me to sit through most of she's the man with amanda bynes airing earlier tonight on ytv. besides the fact that my advanced age made it difficult for me to keep up with the twelfth night inspired plot, the film also contributed to quite the sense of irony this evening. why is that, you say? well, just 20 minutes or so before the start of the broadcast, my daughter and i were joined in our building's elevator by one of our more interesting neighbours. "interesting" because she, well, how shall i put this... interesting because she used to be a he. and when i say "used to be," i mean as recently as a few months ago... when seven still thought of her as a him. (the transformation, i should point out, is still in its preliminary stages.) anyhow, when seven and i stepped off the elevator, the interrogation commenced almost immediately. "daddy, why does our neighbour look so different now?" uh, different? what do you mean by different, honey? "daddy, he looks like a girl now." a girl? he looks like a girl? "yes, daddy. he looks like a girl now. how come?" well, it's... it's a little complicated. you see, our neighbour has gone through a bit of a change of late. "a change? what kind of change?" well, it's... it's like this. our neighbour is no longer a he. "what do you mean no longer a he? what is he then?" well, he is no longer a he because he... well, i suppose he is now a she. "huh?" you see, technically our neighbour is no longer a man. technically, he's... well, he's a woman now. she's a woman now. a woman. (sound of crickets chirping)

at that stage, i thought i was gonna be on the hook for a lengthy (yet delicate) discussion on the finer points of biology and anatomy and physiology and the human reproductive system. but instead, seven seemed surprisingly unfazed by the whole affair. in fact, her subsequent line of questioning leaned more towards a rather fascinating illustration of gender stereotyping amongst young people. "but daddy, if he's a she, then how come she still has an adam's apple?" adam's apple? she has an adam's apple? "and how come her fingers were so thick?" fingers? her fingers are thick? "and how come her pointy finger was shorter than her ring finger?" pointy finger? you mean her index finger? "and how come her eyelashes were so short?" eyelashes? she has short eyelashes? "and how come her voice was so deep? and her feet were so big? and her..." honey, honey, honey. let's just go home and see what's on ytv.

proof that if you wait long enough, every song ever recorded will eventually appear on youtube - this being my favourite number from 1985 for reasons i don't want to get into right now, and further evidence that musical tastes mature over time: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-lHQa1pbBU

p.s. tomorrow's match between england and america will put my divided loyalties to the test. but once the contest is over, i can root for not just one but two squads all the way to the cup final.